Infinite Lovers

Hello tumblr..

I haven’t been on here in a ridiculous amount of time.

I had a wonderful Christmas and hope everyone else did as well =)

oh and P.S. I Finally moved on!!!!!!!!!!

I just don’t even know what to do anymore.. I love him.. but he refuses to do anything to get us back together.. WHY?? It’s like he just takes it for granted that I’ll be waiting the whole time.. and I have been waiting.. Because I love him.. I feel like this same thing is gonna keep happening.. I get my hopes up and then get let down again. He procrastinates.. Does he really want to be with me?? If so.. then it doesn’t seem like he’s treating me the way I should be treated. I love him.. I do. Or I wouldn’t have held on for so long already.. but I just don’t know what to do.. I feel like he’s never going to man up and fight for me.. It hurts so bad.. I try to be happy for him so maybe he’ll actually WANT to get me back.. but then I think about things.. and how he’s avoiding talking to his parents about me. I want to be happy.. and I’m so happy with him.. but all we do now is fight about this.. I love him.. I love him.. I love him.. I wish he would realize what he’s doing to me.. He wants me to hang on.. but then he won’t even do anything to keep me from letting go. I love him.. I honestly don’t understand why it matters who brings it up.. It’s still going to be the same conversation.. I’m not going to let go.. Not yet. I still have faith in him.. even if I should’ve lost it a long time ago.. He got us into this mess by breaking up with me in the first place.. It’s his turn to fix it.. I’ve already tried and I was harshly ignored even after crying for almost an hour to his dad.. This is up to him.. I love him.. and I hope he realizes that he loves me and he doesn’t want to lose me just because he doesn’t want to bring me up..

I love him..

LONG DAY:

1. Job interview
2. Layed by the pool
3. Weight lifting from 5-6
4. Volleyball from 6-7
5. Zumba from 7:30-8:30

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TIIIIIIIIIRED!!

I need to try to be positive.. I don’t get why this is so hard for me.. I’m so sad right now.. I feel like I’m being pushed aside until a more conveniant time..

I need to smile =) and think about the good things in my life..

Why do I always dwell on the negative??????